Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
