I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
