The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize