I wanna bring you to show and tell
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
