if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
