You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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