Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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