why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
