thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
