so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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