Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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