so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I love you.
Bad choice
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
