I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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