apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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