Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
