she was so not down for the gang bang
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
