Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
