Don't you send me to vm
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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