I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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