I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
