So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
