Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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