kristin has been a bad kristin
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
