I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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