I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
