Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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