yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Who died my cat blue again?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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