You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
