Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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