She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
