My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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