I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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