mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
false alarm, still single
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
