i barfeds in our rink
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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