apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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