i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
