they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
