I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
