McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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