I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The air was thick with penises
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The ass gains better be worth it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
