it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
