shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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