I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
