He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
