I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
