do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
whose parrot is this?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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