YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
