About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
