smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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