You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize