i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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