I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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