ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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