my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
