Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
