3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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