Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize