my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
