we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
