Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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