My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
