I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
