Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
