not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
