Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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